Zen and the Art of Peacekeeping

Do you need a fire started under your (lovely, metaphorical) ass?

Over the last few months I've had various friends tell me that I seem to be "on fire" at the moment.

Between finishing the book, signing with an agent, launching the new 30 days of yoga course, piloting the Off the Mat: Yoga in Action course in New Zealand, growing my regular yoga classes and running a series of restorative yoga workshops here in Wellington, I also have a few really exciting human rights contracts on the boil. One of them could see me traveling to Indonesia to talk to police about human rights. Sounds like my kind of contract. I love me some human rights and policing.

So yeah, I reckon my friends are right.

Right now, I am on fire.

This isn't exactly an overnight phenomenon. I've been laying the groundwork for all of these things for years. But, I have no doubt that the spark that lit my particular fire was a conversation with Danielle LaPorte.

In January this year I booked myself in for a Fire Starter Session with Danielle. Ever since, I've been recommending a session with Danielle to anyone who is a conscious, spirit-fueled entrepreneur. 

If you are anything like me, and I know many of you are, then you might have some discomfort around words like "marketing" or "brand". I'm even a little queazy about the idea of money, even though I recognise that I need some of it to do the things I want to do with my life.

As someone who was stepping away from the comfort (and constraints) of a decade of salaried roles in the not-for-profit sector and into the exciting and scary new space of running my own business, I knew that I needed to learn about money, marketing and - yes - even brand.

I also knew that I needed to learn about those things from someone who understood my values, who was mindful and soulful and - most importantly of all - who was impeccably bullshit-free. Danielle was that person. 

Here's what Danielle says about the sessions:

I’m going to help you see what’s possible ... and laser in on the wisest course of action. Wisdom = meaningfulness and efficiency; doing what brings you joy and considering what the market will respond to. Jam sessions could generate a new product or service, your next book plot, insight into repeating lessons, a decision about what you need to stop doing, a better tagline, or a gazillion dollar idea. We may deepen your connection to your truest vocation, overhaul your website, or rev up your mojo to take action.

She certainly lit a fire under me. She showed me the places where I had everything I needed to take the next step and encouraged me to move in the direction of my enthusiasm and joy with both grace and ease. While there was no marketing bullshit in sight, she did challenge me to look at my own discomfort with the idea of making money and promoting myself.

Danielle called me out on the fact that this website, at the time, had buttons and banners linking to products from a wonderful list of seriously good people BUT no button for my own 30 day yoga course. That sad fact continues to be true. But I promise to rectify it on my new website, launching soon.

It's not hard to see why I would be recommending a Fire Starter Session to everyone I know who has or is in the process of launching a creative or soulful business. But Danielle can only do so many one-on-one sessions, and the price (although worth every penny) isn't right for everyone.

So I am even more thrilled to be able to share with you Danielle's latest offering - the Fire Starter Sessions digital book! Please, watch Danielle tell you about her book, in only two minutes.

The Fire Starter Sessions: Spark Your Genius. Ingite Your Business. Make It Matter. from Danielle LaPorte on Vimeo.

For only $150 we can all have access to Danielle's razor-sharp insight and generous truth. Pre-order your copy by clicking through the link in the banner below.

 

(NB: This is an affiliate link. That means I get a share of any sales Danielle makes through this link. It's my first foray into the world of being an affiliate and there is a very good reason why I chose Danielle's book as the first product I would endorse. Because it aligns with a Zen Peacekeeper view of the world and values, and because it is that good.)

Ready? Get set. Go!

I promised a special offer to kick start 2010 with your well-being front and centre. I know that 2010 is going to be another big year. Some of us have been planting the seeds of our biggest, boldest dreams. Many of us are already on the road, following our creative noses where they lead us. We are finding our passion and our purpose and we are committed to serving the world to the best of our abilities. We are changing the world one heart, one home and one young Afghan dreamer at a time.

I also know that none of us can care for our families, create our art, share our stories or save the world to the best of our abilities unless we are as well as we can possibly be. So...

Here it is. My special offer to you, my tribe of mindful, soulful activists and kick-ass change artists: 30 days of What You Need to kick start 2010!

There are three ways for you to come along on this journey with me.

• Exactly what you need: a totally customized yoga practice, which I'll develop just for you based on your needs and your lifestyle.
• Just what you need: you choose one of two sets of yoga practices that I've developed (one if you need to restore, release and renew and one if you are ready to energize and activate)
• You know what you need: you come up with your own yoga practice and then join us for the 30 days of practice.

All three will work in the same awesomely simple way. You decide which suits you right now.

Yoga, for me, is not about getting your head onto your knees. Yoga is about practices that increase our peace and well-being, both on and off the mat.  That's what I want to share with you. Here are some recent quotes from my students:

"What makes your classes special is the way that you really connect with each of us as individuals. I always feel safe with you."

"If it wasn't for you we would never have tried yoga. But you make it so accessible."

"Every week I think I don't have the energy for it and then every week I leave your class feeling so relaxed and so refreshed."

How will this work?

If you choose option one: Exactly what you need here is how it will work:

• Step one: I'll send you a simple questionnaire about your current state of mind, body and spirit and your daily routines.
• Step two: Based on what you tell me in the questionnaire I'll develop a simple customized yoga practice for you.
• Step three: If you are in Wellington we'll have the option of meeting in person but if you are further away I'll send you an email describing your practice and a video of me walking you through it and cheering you on.
• Step four: We'll practice alongside each other for 30 days (starting on 15 January, with the first new moon of 2010). During that time you and I will have one personalized check-in per week (by email) where you'll ask me any questions you have about your practice and I'll give you answers and help with any changes you need to make. You'll also get weekly updates from me about the process we are all going through, tips and encouragement to keep it up.
• Set five: At the end of 30 days I'll send you a short review sheet and we'll have a personal email check in about how it has gone for you and where you want to go next. 

If you choose Just what you need then here's how it will work:

• I'll send you a simple questionnaire to identify which of the two practices (restorative or energizing) is going to best serve you right now.
• Then I'll send you an email outlining your 30 day practice, with a video of me walking you through it and cheering you on. 
• You'll also get weekly updates from me about the process we are all going through, tips and encouragement to keep it up.

If you choose option three, You know what you need, then you can still register with me so that you get the weekly updates, encouragement and tips. If you are on Twitter then I'll also give you a hashtag to use so that we can encourage each other.

What I promise you

• If you choose Exactly what you need, then the customized practice will match your needs and your ability. E.g. if you tell me that you struggle to find any time to yourself I won't propose a 60 minute practice every morning. I might suggest two or three ten minute practices that you can fit in wherever possible in your day plus a relaxation to try when you go to bed at night.
• You can do this even if you have never done yoga before.
• It won't be a chore, it will be deliciously enjoyable. Sure, some days it will take real effort to get yourself started, but once you get going it will feel good. Very good.

What you promise yourself

• If you choose options one or two, then you answer the questionnaire mindfully, set aside a good ten to fifteen minutes and let the answers come from the part of you that knows and speaks the truth.
• You give yourself the gift of space and time to practice. I know this isn't always easy, but I'll be suggesting practices that will work with your routine and lifestyle.

What does it cost?

• Exactly what you need will cost US$100 unless you are a NZ resident, in which case it will cost NZ$100.
• Just what you need will cost US$50 or NZ$50 for NZ residents.
• You know what you need is in your own hands, no costs at this end!

I want to be able to pay each of you the personal attention you deserve so there will be very limited places in the Exactly what you need package. Start 2010 off by investing in your own well-being. Register now by emailing me at fridaworld at gmail dot com.

The Peacemakers Art: An Unbiased Heart

 

Image of Ishmael Beah by John Madere from Ishmael's website

If you've been reading here for a while then you'll know that I believe in the world-changing power of a story. I believe that listening, with an unbiased heart, to someone's story may be the most important thing we ever do for them. This much I learned in two years in Afghanistan. I also believe that telling our own stories can change our own lives and can open space for wider change in the world. This much I am learning as I find the courage to write my own book this year.

One of the kindred spirits I have met along my own journey to uncover the simple, profound power of story is Laura Simms. I've never actually met Laura in person but we have spoken on the phone and emailed each other at different times over the past three years.

Laura is a storyteller, writer and meditation teacher. She is also the adoptive mother of Ishmael Beah, a storyteller in his own right. If you haven't heard of Ishmael and his story then I highly recommend his memoir, A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier about his experiences as a child soldier in Sierra Leone.

Next month Laura and Ishmael will be leading a workshop at Esalen. I went to a workshop at Esalen for the first time this past summer and I was very impressed. The site, in Big Sur, is stunning. From my cabin I had views out across the beautiful organic vegetable gardens to the ocean. I soaked in the mineral hot pools and walked through the beautiful grounds. Even if the workshop I attended hadn't been amazing (it was!) it would have been worth it just to enjoy the rare luxury of peace and simplicity and community that I found at Esalen.

Here is the overview of Laura and Ishmael's workshop:

At the heart of peacemaking is the art of unbiased presence, genuine listening, and the ability to discern meaning. How we communicate can plant the seed of compassionate change or it can be the source of misunderstanding and conflict — in our own hearts and in the world.

This workshop will unfold as a deepening process of working with embodied presence, mindful awareness, and sharing the age-old wisdom of storytelling and visualization to uncover our inherent capacities for accessing tools for peacemaking in ourselves and among family and community, including humanitarian and educational endeavors.

Each day will begin with guided Chi Kung and meditation practice, and continue with storytelling and writing activities that promote unbiased listening and show how genuine presence and story can nurture nonaggression and peace. Each participant will leave with skills and practical information, and a personal story that uses mythic image and experience.

I highly recommend this workshop. I would be there if it were a little closer. If you go, will you promise to report back here about it. A guest post maybe?

Five good things

1. This great post from Rachelle Gardener on how we learn to write. Don't miss the comments either, some great advice in there as well. 

2. Also on writing, The Elegant Art of Art of Writing Less at my favorite blog discovery this week, Write to Done.

3. Alex of Gypsy Girl's Guide is having a giveaway of one of her beautiful photos over on Ordinary Courage. Both those blogs are well worth having a good look at as well.

4. In the first of what will hopefully become a regular feature, I'm guest posting over at Gypsy Girl's Guide as part of the Gypsy Life feature. This first post answers the question: When did I first get started on the gypsy life?

5. Finally, and very much in keeping with the "Zen and the Art of Peacekeeping" theme, this Postcard from a Buddhist in Iraq makes for very interesting reading. 

Five really good things

Continuing the theme of adding a bit of structure around these parts, I'm planning to make the list of five really good things into a regular weekend feature. These lists are inspired by my home girl Swirly.

Five really good things for this week:

1. Over at Momma Zen, Karen Maezen Miller has reposted one of my all time favorite posts. What do Buddhists believe? It does not require my belief, it requires my practice. Simple.

2. Podcast with Seane Corn about Off the Matt and Into the World - a yoga program that aims to "inspire and guide you to find and define your purpose and become active in your local or global community in an effective, sustainable and joyful way" which is just my cup of peppermint tea!

3. Over at the Crazy Sexy Life blog, Brian Fasset writes about a topic very dear to my heart - empowering women, improving women's health and education. If the basic dignity of every woman in the world isn't reason enough then how about this - empower women and save the planet.

4. On the topic of writing and building an online "platform", Susan Schwartzman over at Writer Unboxed writes about promoting your book online. I'll be filing it for later reference.

5. Finally, laughter is an essential part of any cleanse, so I have to include this link. By far the funniest thing I came across this week. Laughed? I nearly split my tweeds!

Five things making me smile these days

Foxton Fizz bottles at Deluxe Cafe

I've done plenty of crying in the past few days. But there have been moments of joy and goodness too. Here are five things that have made me smile.

1. Taking blogger Katie and her friend Sandra on a tour of my favorite cafes of Wellington on Tuesday. We started out at Deluxe for a late breakfast (above) and then after I showed them Wellington's wild south coast beaches we stopped at the Maranui Cafe in Lyall Bay for coffee and cake. Maranui Cafe is housed in the old Maranui Surf Lifesaving club building and has an amazing view over Lyall Bay beach where there is always some brave soul out surfing, wind surfing or kite surfing. I love the surf club inspired decor, the vegan cupcakes (see below) and the outlook onto the coast.

Maranui (Surf Lifesaving Club) Cafe

2. This vegan chocolate raspberry cupcake at Maranui. No animals were harmed in the making of this treat. How can it be anything but good?

Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Cupcake at Maranui Cafe

3. Hanging out with my little friend Tom on Monday. We went to the beach, messed about in the sand and made friends at the playground. Knowing that his mum was enjoying her time alone as much as I was enjoying my time with Tom made me smile even more.

4. A monarch butterfly chrysalis sitting on my desk. It was a gift from a lovely friend who last year returned to New Zealand after surviving the bombing of Lebanon with her two little boys while her husband was working for UNFIL. She understands better than most people the emotional rollercoaster I'm riding these days and chose this thoughtful, magical gift. She assures me that the a butterfly will emerge safely even under my inexperienced care.

And last but very definitely not least...

Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra at Te Papa, 16.02.08

5. The Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra. On Saturday after I'd had a good long cry about Mr B and a quiet, introspective afternoon my fabulous ukulele-playing housemate swung in from out of town and so I put on my high heels and lipstick and headed out to see the Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra play again. By golly can they cheer a girl up.

Now, stop whatever you are doing and watch this. I guarantee a smile.

After the gig Gemma had the band back to our place so I spent Saturday night sitting on my couch with a glass of red wine listening to them play and sing their way through their songbooks into the wee hours. It was therapy for the soul.

Megan and WIUO guest Amanda at Te Papa

These things are making me smile.

Five things that are making me smile today

1. The High Commissioner for Human Rights, Louise Arbour, was in Afghanistan this past weekend and I got to attend two meetings with her. The first was a meeting with women from families of victims of human rights abuses and violations during the past decaddes of war in Afghanistan. Women who have come together despite their differences to raise their voices in pursuit of justice. The subject of transitional justice, or lack of it, has been one that I have found incredibly disappointing. On Friday, though, both courage of these women and the wisdom and experience of Ms Arbour gave me new hope. More than anything else, this meeting made me smile.

2. Yesterday was my nephew's third birthday party and a large chunk of the party was spent chasing a small group of sheep who had escaped from their paddock - my sister's email about their sheep chasing adventures (involving my parents, sister and brother-in-law and the kids) made me smile.

3. An email from a beautiful Mermaid is making me smile.

4. Listening to great Kiwi music is always making me smile.

5. Photos (like the one below) from my holiday in California are making me smile.

Me, Denise, Christine and Susannah taken in Santa Monica, by Susannah, the master of the arm's length selp portrait

PS: Happy Birthday Gorgeous!!

A time for talking

I've been in Kabul for almost a week and I have talked so much I think that a little part of me (the little part that had grown quite accustomed to my hermit's life in Ghor) is in shock. But other parts of me feel vibrantly alive in a way I haven't for weeks.

That seems to me to be part of the beautiful paradox and the delicate balance of life. A life of solitude brings parts of us to life. In me, solitude generates a particular creativity and thoughfulness which is essential to rich inner life. On the other hand the company of fascinating, loving, funny people also feeds my inner as well as my outer life.

This week I have shared a beer with a 59 year old geologist from New Zealand and his wife, a gorgeous woman whose warm enthusiasm for life (even life in Kabul) made me feel as though she was an old and treasured friend within an hour of meeting her.

This week I have eaten dinner with my dearest Afghan friend, a fearless feminist and human rights activist who was the reason I came to Afghanistan in the first place. Despite my absence from their home of more than four months, her 18 month old daughter seemed to recognise me and as well as playing tickle with me for most of the night she repeated my name over and over again in a delighted giggle of recognition.

This week I have sat in the sun with a soul friend who has seen me through some of the darkest day of my dark winter, and with whom I practiced yoga in a tiny room in Herat as the sun came out both literally and figuratively last summer. We turned over the material of our lives right now, the parallels and the convergances, we acknowledged how much we miss each other and we allowed each other to talk through each current question to its limits.

This week I laughed through a dinner with an Australian hardcase who grew up on a coffee plantation in Papua New Guinea and although as tough as nuts on the outside was the first person to offer me a fluffy soft towel and an extra blanket in the spare room when I arrived in Kabul dirty and looking for a room.

This week I caught up, over a glass of wine, with a woman born to American parents in Afghanistan 30 years ago. The daughter of an eye-doctor who grew up through the horrors of the civil war here and whose house was my home my first summer in Kabul. As happens every time I meet her, she revealed to me again another layer of her rich character, this time her genuine compassion for an injured cat.

This week I met a fascinating carpet dealer, a carpet guru, a man who appreciates beauty and history and who is helping people like me to understand more of the beauty of Afghanistan's cultural history - and then helping us claim a little bit to take home with us. A gentle, sophisticated, intelligent man who was infinitely patient with my desire to look at and stroke his most expensive carpets (way out of my price range).

This week I have had very little time to write in my journal, or to even sit back quietly and reflect on all these amazing people and the interesting and stimulating conversations I've had with them. But I see that these moments are to be lived to the full, the energy is to be soaked up and stored up.

There will be quiet times of solitude in the future during which the fruits of these encounters will bubble their way back up to teh surface, feeding my creative imagination in the quiets evenings in Ghor.

Things that make me smile on a bad day

Divina Graca, me and my shadow friend. Portugal, August 2007.

Things that make me smile on a day when the news is otherwise horrible in the western provinces of Afghanistan:

- a local journalist and civil society activist who came to my office today to ask me to write about peace in a book he is putting together for the people of Ghor. He already has a spontaneous poem about peace from my Afghan colleague and a message of peace from the Lithuanian Commander of the local ISAF base.

- this poem, found on the first page of a book by Anne Lamott that I found, of all places, in the recreation room of the American police mentors:

"I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget,
who remains calm and silent when I talk,
and forgives gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain strong when I die."

Juan Ramon Jimenez

- the fact that I went for a run today. I ran around the inside of my compund ten times, it took me 15 minutes. For someone who used to go out for two hour runs without blinking it takes some effort to celebrate this. But the first rule of running (as in life) is to start where you are, not where you think you ought to be. And where I am is: out of running shape, living at altitude and with only a 1.5 minute circuit around my dusty compound as a running track. My goal is to double that over the next month so I can go for a gentle run with MJ and a serious walk with Swirly when I get Stateside next month.

Five more things that make me smile

1. This journal page sent to me by the fabulously creative and inspiring Mahima of Love is Handmade

2. Citizen of the Month - Neil doesn't just make me smile, he makes me laugh out loud. How come some people get to be funny and the rest of us get stuck with being earnest?

3. The fact that my compound buddy J and I hosted a social evening tonight - combining his great Indian cooking, my social networks, and our respective contraband alcohol stocks we managed to get eight civilian internationals along to one Thursday night dinner and drinks in Chaghcharan, Ghor. It may have been a first.

4. Confessions of a Pioneer Woman - again with the whiney "why can't I be funny like her". I grew up helping vets put their hands up cows backsides and I love this city-girl's take on life on a ranch with her very own Marlboro Man and their mini cowgirl and coyboy punks.

5. Knowing that tomorrow is Friday (my day off) and that once I get through breakfast with the Chief of Police I can spend as much time as I like curled up on the sofa with my new books AND my long-suffering colleague J has agreed to take me for a walk again tomorrow evening. I don't know why he puts up with me since I tease him about walking too slow.