Zen and the Art of Peacekeeping

30 days of yoga: What now?

I first discovered the power of committing to do a new practice every day for a defined period of time when I was living in Afghanistan. I'd been having a really difficult time dealing with some of the suffering and injustice I was seeing every day and my anxiety levels were going through the roof.

I'd dabbled in yoga and meditation and knew that both practices had helped me find a solid, calm space even in the midst of the most extreme circumstances but my practice was erratic and the effects were fleeting.

I knew I needed more of that kind of practice, more often. So I made myself a promise that I would sit down and meditate every morning for 21 mornings. I committed to myself to sit for at least ten minutes every morning.

Some mornings I sat there for the entire ten minutes struggling against the practice. Some mornings I spent ten minutes chasing after a mind that was out the door and off on a stroll along the street outside. I would lead it back into the room only to find a few moments later it had wandered out again.

Some mornings I looked over at my clock every thirty seconds, convinced that ten minutes must surely have passed. Some mornings I spent the whole time singing to myself, catching myself at it, settling my mind back onto the breath and then realising that I had somehow started singing again without even noticing.

On all those mornings I repeated two simple mantras to myself.

The first was 'just hold your seat'. What that meant to me was that it was enough, for now, that I did what I had committed to doing. It was enough that I sat for ten minutes every morning, repeatedly returning my attention gentle to my breath. As long as I held my seat, no matter what kinds of joys, frustrations or sorrows arose, I was practicing something important. I was learning to resist the temptation to distract myself from discomfort. I was learning to hold my seat.

My other mantra was 'you are not doing it wrong, you are doing it'. I knew that there were profound depths of wisdom and subtle layers of insight to be found in the practice of meditation. I knew I hadn't even scratched the surface. I knew I was still missing some of the most important truths about meditation.

But I was a beginner and for now what mattered most was that I practiced. I knew that if I listened to the gremlins who whispered in my ear that I was wasting my time because I probably wasn't even doing it right, I would have toppled off the cushion in defeat on the first day. As long as I kept showing up and kept holding my seat, for now, I was doing enough.

After 21 days I realised that those moments had become an integral part of my day. Some days they didn't feel like a battle or a chore. Some days I felt myself lean back into the spaciousness and peace that - apparently - had always been there waiting for me. After 21 days I didn't want to stop.

So here is what I hope might have come from the 30 days of yoga. I hope is that your 30 days of yoga might have given you a taste for the practice of taking a little time every day to reconnect with your breath, with your body and with the place within you that is a source of peace, love, compassion and joy.

If you started with me on 15 January then you are coming to the end of your 30 days. If you started later, it doesn't make any difference because the point, now that I can be totally honest with you, is not to practice yoga every day for 30 days. The point is to make space every day to practice yoga.

30 days of yoga week three: Getting stronger

For the week that I was hiking my yoga practice was simple, thirty minutes of legs up the wall morning and night together with a scattering of hip, hamstring, calf and foot stretches to keep my body from seizing up. What I found interesting was the way my body reacted to the effort of the hike.

At the end of the first full day of walking with a heavy pack my back, neck and shoulders were aching. I was a little worried to be perfectly honest. We had many miles to go and the toughest section (a climb up and over a mountain pass) was still ahead of me. Would my body be able to handle it?

But by the end of day two I felt better, rather than worse. My muscles were starting to get the message that they were expected to carry more weight than they were accustomed to and they were rising to the challenge.

By day three I felt like I could walk forever and my pack, which admittedly was a little lighter thanks to the food I had eaten, felt as light as a feather. By day four I was transformed into mountain woman. I didn't want to stop!

Isn't it interesting how much more our bodies are capable of than what we generally require of them. The truth is I could almost hear the groans of pleasure as my body stretched and flexed its way towards its strongest self. I realised that it is my mind rather than my body that determines my limits most of the time. Given space to find its own limits my body went much further than my mind would have predicted.

Three weeks into your 30 days of yoga, is your body starting to find its own strength? What differences have you noticed in your body and mind?

Finding your purpose

The journey to Afghanistan

That's me, during one of my beloved walks into the hills around Chegcharan, where I lived for six months of my time in Afghanistan. If you look closely you can see the village of Chegcharan in the distant background, to the upper right of the picture. You have to look carefully because the mud-brick buildings blend so well into the landscape.

My personal journey to Afghanistan began when I understood, very early in my life, that resources and opportunities were not shared fairly around the world. When I was a pre-schooler my parents moved to Papua New Guinea to work as missionaries and I came to see just how unevenly the world's resources are spread.

Finding my purpose

As a child I knew that I couldn't just accept things the way they were. I needed to find a way to live my life that would be adding to the stock of justice and well-being for all. Because I was a talkative (okay, an argumentative) little thing, the obvious route was human rights law. I found my path early and I didn't deviate from it. I had a sense of strong purpose and an even stronger sense of connection to the global community. People everywhere were my people. I was called to act globally.

More recently, as my life has moved through the seasons that a life moves through, I have been moved towards acting more locally. Yesterday I taught the second session of a seven week Yoga in Action course here in my local community. 

Discovering your unique role in life

The course was developed by Seane Corn, Hala Khouri and Suzanne Sterling of Off the Mat, Into the World. I was trained by them this past summer, and now I'm preparing to offer this course here in New Zealand.

The purpose of the course is to support the participants to embark on a journey of self-inquiry, with the support of a small group, that leads to action within our community and outside world. "Action" here could mean anything from healing relationships with family and friends, to extending oneself to the larger community, or to doing national or international work.

The heart of the process is to know ourselves, uncover our motivations and our purpose, to understand the nature both of our interdependence and of our unique role in the web of life. Your unique experiences - including the challenges - have given you insights, strengths and abilities that enable you to serve others in a way that nobody else could do.

You have a purpose, you are needed

Right now this work seems more important than ever. In the wake of a tragedy on the scale of the earthquake in Haiti so many of us are left wondering what more we could be doing.

Some of us are called to act globally. Some of us are moved to act locally. Some of us are the manual labourers of change, others of us are the architects. Some of us are drawn to large-scale change, others know that our strength is in our ability to give our full attention to the small things that add up to everything.

Whatever your style, you do have a purpose and you are needed. We are all needed and together, we are enough.

If you'd like to know more about the Yoga in Action courses and how you can find out about them in your area, leave me a comment.

30 days of yoga: Are we having fun yet?

The joy of yoga*

If you started your 30 days of yoga sadhana on January 15th then you’ve been practicing for 10 days now. You are one third of the way through your sadhana.

Are you having fun yet?

Maybe that seems like a strange question. Maybe you expect yoga to be serious?

It is. At least, it is profound. My experience of yoga has been that it leads me into all of my own darkest places and then helps me find the steadiness and the ease that I need to find my way through each of them to the other side.

Yoga can be intense. But it has also been a source of real lightness and joy for me. I have fun when I’m in my flow.

In my yoga classes we often end up having a laugh. Sometimes it might be a release of the nervous energy that builds up when you step into those otherwise untouched places. But sometimes it simply is a spontaneous outpouring of joy.

Many of us spend much of our lives unplugged from our source of energy, joy and love. When we plug in, which yoga helps us do, it’s not unusual to feel joyful, even ecstatic.

Not all the time. There are certainly days when my practice is taking me through places where I’m still storing up fear, shame or guilt. When my practice leads me to lean into those spaces it can feel pretty heavy.

But when I keep breathing, keep connecting to the earth, keep coming back to the sensations in my body, keep returning to my sankalpa – well, eventually I find space, I find freedom and I find joy.

So how about you? Is yoga a source of joy? Are you having fun yet?

How is your sadhana going? Have you noticed any changes in your body, mind or spirit? Have you learned anything new about yourself?

*I've used this photo before, maybe even twice, but I can't think of a better image of the joy of yoga. Not just because of the bliss state evident on my face but also the guy in the background, who didn't join our class but did do his own joyful thang!

No pain, no gain in yoga?

 
No pain, no gain?

We’ve been trained to think this way – to believe that we have to suffer in order to achieve anything of real merit.

We’ve been taught to believe that things that come easily are not worth as much as those things that we struggle for.

We’ve been educated to believe that being busy is a virtue.

Doing less is one of those great ideas that we all love to ignore. Less is more, we say, while we rush about doing more, buying more, selling more, being more.

So it should be no surprise that we bring these beliefs with us when we turn up on our yoga mat

Steadiness and ease

One of the things I've heard most often from the 30 days of yoga tribe is their relief when I wrote to them all reminding them that their commitment to doing yoga every day for 30 days didn’t mean they had to do a full asana practice every day.

There is real benefit in choosing a clear focus and making a commitment to that focus for 30 days. This is the heart of the 30 days of yoga challenge. We have each identified our intention and our focus and we’ve made a commitment to honouring that intention.

But yoga is about the balance between steadiness and ease. In yoga we are invited to move into that space where strength and flexibility co-exist. It takes strength to honour our commitment, but it takes the wisdom of flexibility to know when we should honour it by doing less.

Doing less

If we are inviting balance into our lives through our yoga then we need to be mindful of what we already have a lot of in our lives. Many of us, especially in the West, already have lots of ‘busyness’, lots of striving, and lots of pressure.

For some of us there is a lot of strength and focus and what we are inviting more of, through our yoga, is ease. Sometimes, we pay attention to the truth about our current state and we know that what yoga is inviting us to do is less.

Intentions and sankalpa

After my post about setting an intention last week I received a lovely email from Swami Karma Karuna of the Anahata Retreat, a Satyananda yoga centre in New Zealand. She felt that my explanation of sankalpa was a little bit casual and kindly shared some great quotes about sankalpa from the teachers of her tradition.

Swami Satyananda taught that sankapla must be very precise and clear and repeated over a long period of time in order to reach the deeper layers of the mind where it can have a real affect. Repetition over a 30 day sadhana might only be the beginning of your work with a sankalpa.

In his book Yoga Nidra, Swami Satyananda says:

"You must choose your sankapla very carefully. The wording should be precise and clear, otherwise it will not penetrate the subconscious mind."

He also says:

"Use only one sankapla according to your needs and inclinations. Do not be in a hurry. Once you have chosen a sankalpa, you must not change it for another. Don't expect results overnight. Time is required depending on the nature of the resolve and the degree to which it is planted in the mind."

No ‘shoulds’, no rush

So yoga invites you to take a break from any pressure you may feel to do the practice that you think you ‘should’ be doing. As long as you remain true to the intention you have chosen, you are honouring your commitment. Some days that may mean a full asana practice, some days it might mean a long savasana.

There is also no rush. Take your time. In my experience the deep changes that come with a committed regular yoga practice come slowly, over time. There is nowhere to be, there is no deadline to get there.

Enjoy!

How you can help raise money for Haiti AND kick-start your yoga for 2010

I haven't had much to say here about the terrible situation in Haiti. There really isn't much to say that hasn't already been said, although I have been more talkative over at Twitter where I've been sharing good the good advice I get from experts in the field about the best ways to respond and help.

I'd like to be able to give more money to the most credible organisations helping with the emergency response in Haiti. So I've decided to re-offer my "Energising and opening" 40 minute yoga video, plus weekly support for the next 30 days to kick start your yoga practice. All for only $50.

All proceeds from anyone who signs up today will go to Haiti via Oxfam. I choose Oxfam because I've worked with them, know them well and have utter confidence in their ability on the ground. I also choose Oxfam because they have been working in Haiti for some time and already have people, relationships and resources on the ground. But there are many other good, solid organisations already working in Haiti who are also well placed to respond.

You get all the support you need to start your year with yoga - which means with well-being, balance and focus - and we both get to help people who deserve all that we can do and more.

I was inspired to make this offer by Danielle La Porte, who inspired, and Kelly Diels, who initiated, the Help Haiti Blog Challenge.

Why I'm not choosing a word for 2010

Lots of my friends and favorite bloggers have been doing as the fabulous Ali Edwards does and choosing one single word to lead them into 2010. I love everything about this idea. I certainly like it better than New Years resolutions. But I won't be choosing a word. Here's why.

2009 was the year I fulfilled two big, crazy dreams. I became a yoga teacher and I wrote my book. A few weeks ago I finally sent query letters and sample chapters out to potential agents and publishers. A few months back I realised I was never going to finish the book while I was working at Oxfam. I was just a little bit too passionate about that job to make the time I needed to get any writing done. Well, I was a bit too passionate and Oxfam was a bit too INSANELY busy. Either way, I quit my job in the middle of a recession and devoted myself to teaching yoga and writing. 

I didn't have a word for 2009. I just had my wild dreams. Yoga and a book. I've always been good at wild dreams. I'm good at coming up with them and I'm pretty good at the follow-through that it takes to make them happen. I can be very determined once I set my mind on something. There are some Afghan warlords and other people who've been the subject of my one-woman human rights campaigns who can vouch for that. 

2009 was a year of being afraid (that I wouldn't be good enough, that I couldn't do it) and doing it anyway. It was a year of uncovering the solid base that can and will hold me even if I do 'fail', if the leaps of faith I'm taking lead me somewhere other that where I thought I wanted to be. In retrospect I decided that the word for my 2009 was courage.

I have plenty of big dreams for 2010. I dream that my book will be published and that Oprah will tell everyone to read it, you know, as an antidote to all the books that tell us Afghanistan is a f$#ked up mess that has no redeeming features. I dream about being paid to go back to Afghanistan and Gaza and East Timor to take photos of the people I met there, the bravest people I've ever met anywhere, and to help them tell their stories to the world. I dream about helping people like you uncover your superpower and then unfurling it upon an unsuspecting world to do more good than you've ever dreamed of. I dream about finding more ways to help people like you help people like Faezeh make their dreams come true.

I have plenty of big dreams. That has never been a problem for me. I have no idea where it came from, this ability to dream with such unbounded audacity, but I'm grateful for it.

I also have my own approach to my dreams. I'm not much for annual plans, strategic plans, New Year's resolutions. They all leave me a bit cold. I like to plant my wild dreams like seeds. Then I tend the soil. I weed out anything nasty, anything that could strangle a budding dream or steal it's sunshine. I do everything I can to give those dreams the best damn garden they could ask for and then I trust them to grow and blossom when the climate is just right.

This New Year I've got some big dreams planted. So I'll be starting my year by tending my garden. One way that I do that is to start my year with a 30 day yoga practice. I'll be starting on 15 January, which is the first new moon of 2010. I've planned a special practice, which will bring more of what is lacking into my life and which will balance out that which is abundant.

There is still lots of time to join me. I'd love to have your company for the journey. I can't offer you the customised 'Exactly what you need' option any more, those places have all been snapped up, but I can give you 'Just what you need'. Alternatively, you may already know what you need, in which case just join us for the journey. If you have some big dreams planted, then come tend the garden with me. We'll create space for them to grow and make sure they are taking root in fertile and nurturing soil.

PS: If you think you'd like some help finding those wild dream seeds to plant, then I can highly recommend Mondo Beyondo, Andrea and Jen's e-course in dreaming big. The next course starts on 11 January and registrations are still open. Go, plant some seeds and then join me to tend the soil.

Word of the year 2009

I've used this photo before, but it says so much to me about the word that encapsulated 2009 for me that I had to post it again. It's a photo of me leading an outdoor yoga practice in the middle of Wellington for a Day of Action on Climate Change.

My word for 2009 was:

Fear

Challenge

Stretch

Leap

Faith

Courage

PS: All the places in Exactly what you need are gone, but I still have plenty of Just what you need. Jump in. Start 2010 with courage, I can't tell you the wonderful places it might take you.

Ready? Get set. Go!

I promised a special offer to kick start 2010 with your well-being front and centre. I know that 2010 is going to be another big year. Some of us have been planting the seeds of our biggest, boldest dreams. Many of us are already on the road, following our creative noses where they lead us. We are finding our passion and our purpose and we are committed to serving the world to the best of our abilities. We are changing the world one heart, one home and one young Afghan dreamer at a time.

I also know that none of us can care for our families, create our art, share our stories or save the world to the best of our abilities unless we are as well as we can possibly be. So...

Here it is. My special offer to you, my tribe of mindful, soulful activists and kick-ass change artists: 30 days of What You Need to kick start 2010!

There are three ways for you to come along on this journey with me.

• Exactly what you need: a totally customized yoga practice, which I'll develop just for you based on your needs and your lifestyle.
• Just what you need: you choose one of two sets of yoga practices that I've developed (one if you need to restore, release and renew and one if you are ready to energize and activate)
• You know what you need: you come up with your own yoga practice and then join us for the 30 days of practice.

All three will work in the same awesomely simple way. You decide which suits you right now.

Yoga, for me, is not about getting your head onto your knees. Yoga is about practices that increase our peace and well-being, both on and off the mat.  That's what I want to share with you. Here are some recent quotes from my students:

"What makes your classes special is the way that you really connect with each of us as individuals. I always feel safe with you."

"If it wasn't for you we would never have tried yoga. But you make it so accessible."

"Every week I think I don't have the energy for it and then every week I leave your class feeling so relaxed and so refreshed."

How will this work?

If you choose option one: Exactly what you need here is how it will work:

• Step one: I'll send you a simple questionnaire about your current state of mind, body and spirit and your daily routines.
• Step two: Based on what you tell me in the questionnaire I'll develop a simple customized yoga practice for you.
• Step three: If you are in Wellington we'll have the option of meeting in person but if you are further away I'll send you an email describing your practice and a video of me walking you through it and cheering you on.
• Step four: We'll practice alongside each other for 30 days (starting on 15 January, with the first new moon of 2010). During that time you and I will have one personalized check-in per week (by email) where you'll ask me any questions you have about your practice and I'll give you answers and help with any changes you need to make. You'll also get weekly updates from me about the process we are all going through, tips and encouragement to keep it up.
• Set five: At the end of 30 days I'll send you a short review sheet and we'll have a personal email check in about how it has gone for you and where you want to go next. 

If you choose Just what you need then here's how it will work:

• I'll send you a simple questionnaire to identify which of the two practices (restorative or energizing) is going to best serve you right now.
• Then I'll send you an email outlining your 30 day practice, with a video of me walking you through it and cheering you on. 
• You'll also get weekly updates from me about the process we are all going through, tips and encouragement to keep it up.

If you choose option three, You know what you need, then you can still register with me so that you get the weekly updates, encouragement and tips. If you are on Twitter then I'll also give you a hashtag to use so that we can encourage each other.

What I promise you

• If you choose Exactly what you need, then the customized practice will match your needs and your ability. E.g. if you tell me that you struggle to find any time to yourself I won't propose a 60 minute practice every morning. I might suggest two or three ten minute practices that you can fit in wherever possible in your day plus a relaxation to try when you go to bed at night.
• You can do this even if you have never done yoga before.
• It won't be a chore, it will be deliciously enjoyable. Sure, some days it will take real effort to get yourself started, but once you get going it will feel good. Very good.

What you promise yourself

• If you choose options one or two, then you answer the questionnaire mindfully, set aside a good ten to fifteen minutes and let the answers come from the part of you that knows and speaks the truth.
• You give yourself the gift of space and time to practice. I know this isn't always easy, but I'll be suggesting practices that will work with your routine and lifestyle.

What does it cost?

• Exactly what you need will cost US$100 unless you are a NZ resident, in which case it will cost NZ$100.
• Just what you need will cost US$50 or NZ$50 for NZ residents.
• You know what you need is in your own hands, no costs at this end!

I want to be able to pay each of you the personal attention you deserve so there will be very limited places in the Exactly what you need package. Start 2010 off by investing in your own well-being. Register now by emailing me at fridaworld at gmail dot com.

What do you need more of? Are you ready to give yourself that gift?

That's me in Bali, in a pose known as Upward Dog

Three years ago I was living in Afghanistan, struggling with a form of depression that grew out of the shock and trauma of losing my hope for a better world. I knew that I would eventually find my way back out of that vortex of doom and despair, but I couldn't find a foothold.

At some point, without even really understanding why, I decided that more stillness was what I needed. I decided to try meditation.

I'd read somewhere that if you do something for 21 days in a row, then you've set a new habit in place. So I decided to sit and meditate for at least ten minutes every morning for 21 days.

It worked. I formed a new habit that stuck for many months after the 21 days had passed (although not forever and I've had to return to the cushion after periods of absence more than once since then). Meditation practice also helped with my despair. More on that on other posts.

For now, I am remembering the power of those 21 days. Actually, I don't think there is anything magical about the number 21. I think that it was the belief that I was setting up a new habit that made it happen. I could have done it in 15 days or 30 days, as long as I really believed it.

Right now there are areas of my life crying out for a little bit of tender, loving attention. I've been pushing through some pain to 'get things done' and that's not the foot on which I want to start 2010. I'm going to start the year as I mean to go on, by choosing wholeness and well-being and joy.

So in the first moon cycle of 2010 (starting 15 January) I'm going to give myself this gift. I'll spend some time paying attention to what I need more of, whether that be rest or movement, and I'll design a specific set of practices (yoga and other) to meet those needs. Then I'll give myself the gift of following those practices for 30 days.

I'm in the process of creating some special packages for anyone who wants to join me on this journey. More on that in the next few days but it will be a customised process. We'll work together to identify where you are at and what you need more of (more energy, more rest, more ease in your movements, more space in your breath, more power in your body) and then I'll help you design a simple yoga-based practice that you can follow for 30 days. So if you are ready to start 2010 with some serious self-love and care, stay tuned!